Something that thumps your heart

I daresay when you find something that widens your pupils and gets your brain juices flowing, you'll have found your passion and dream in life. Reading all about land use and urban planning has that effect on me, although I'm not sure how that would fit into my future plans. Which, I must say, is very vague and empty right now. There are only a few scribbled lines and sketches, nothing solid.

Is it possible that I can spend my life reading, writing, exploring, researching, talking to amazing humans and taking photographs?

Pitch fear!

It has come down to this again, hasn't it? The moment when you have to stand in front of your boss and pitch your idea for a mere 90 seconds, hoping, desperately hoping that you will be able to get all your ideas out on the table with clarity. The last time that happened, I stuttered, forgot what to say, faltered at the confused and half- mocking face of my boss and failed to answer any of his questions rationally.

Please let that not be the case on Wednesday!

My lesson learned from the previous experience was that I should keep things simple- be clear on the goals of your product, answer the few main questions, and then just deliver it with full conviction. No need to add flowery frills or inventive methods of deliverance. It's not as easy as it sounds of course, since that I am not even sure of what I should and should not say! My nerves are failing me and it's going to trip up my words.

I hate that moment when my mind goes blank and you can see the stars falling out of my eyes.

Anyhow, I:m diligently (not really, since I'm here typing away) researching on my product idea now, only to find that every single idea I have has already been used, albeit hideous interfaces.

Public spaces app? San Francisco and New York beat me to that.
Sustainable cities app? Nevada and Virginia were ahead of me.
Real life city planning stimulation? SimCity! Who would've thought they've become realistic!
Crowd-sourced community project app? Thrdplace, thank you for developing the idea.
Vote with your wallet? Not really my idea, but I definitely found it enticing, only to have buycott and pocketbookvoters doing the job already.
Imaginary city planning game or app? Placemaking's been there, done that.

I somehow feel that the gem of an idea is hidden somewhere within the mountain of information I've collected and deep inside my mind. I've just got to cut through the clutter and find that shy little treasure.

So... where should I start?

Return!

I've decided to return to blogging. Expressing oneself is a form of art, one that I am horribly in want of. Somehow I even suspect if there is even a funny bone in me. Anyhow, writing more wouldn't be of harm.

Life has been quite kind to me lately although it's tugging at the tail of my shirt urging me to do things. Too many things demand my attention, really. How am I suppose to treat them all with equal attention? One can only have that much time.

Oh this new days!

I fear that my command of language is drowning in solitude. With not as many occasions to be spent socializing, I don't speak that much and in consequence, find myself stuttering and lost for words once I engage in that energy expending activity again. These days of relative silence have been quite serene and in fact, joyful for me. I've spent time with myself strolling around the campus, going for walks, reading, exploring nooks and crannies of the grounds in my own company- and enjoyed every bit of it. Quite surprising, really, since I thought that I would die of silence. Instead I seem to be indulging in it.....a little too much.

So the tipping point is about to approach. I begin to notice how I'm often alone; I begin to lose my literary skills; I begin to feel lonely and hyped up every time I talk to someone; I begin to feel infinitely annoyed at all that high pitched American accents piping up around me.

Oh I need to talk to people before the monster of solitude consumes me!

I've met some amazing people here already, so I better keep in contact with them so I don't get lost in my own tiny world.