On making decisions

I always make it a point to carefully consider every aspect before making a decision. Alas, after long thought, normally the decisions made are still made on shaky grounds.

I HAVE NO IDEA IF IT IS THE RIGHT DECISION.

Let's say after a week or so when I"m showering, the decision will emerge in my mind as I once again ponder over it. Regret will begin to seep in as I wonder if I've made the right choice.

That piece of uncertainty has led me to hate making decisions, or to procrastinating at any potential situations that might require me to do so.

But some things can't be avoided wholly. So I just make a decision. Snap judgement when things go heavy. Trust my instincts. My experience. Let the issue work out itself.

Luckily I don't have much stake in anything big. Any error of mine will not cause a country to collapse or anything, but I do realize that our decisions are very much vulnerable to our personal beliefs. Which leads me to wonder...

What happens when you make a decision so wrong that it costs thousands of lives?
What happens when you realize that the perceptions that you hold on so strongly to fails to be true?

1) In the case of China...
Let's say you are Mao. You truly believe in your ideology, that the 4 pests must be eradicated, that sparrows are detrimental to the environment, that intellectuals will hinder development, that no one can be trusted, that it IS the only way to revive your country from it's deep pits of shame and embarrassment. So you make those decisions, despite it being downright gory and cruel. At first it seemed to work but then all came crashing down. I wonder did he ever have doubts when he was executing this grand plan of his, like halfway through, suddenly realizing how inhumane and authoritarian the regime is, that this great decisions of his may lead to failure. Did he doubt? I think I'm getting off track here. Hmm. But point is, was there any sudden moment when he realizes all the flaws of his plans and felt like reversing his decisions? If he were to discover and accept that, is there any catharsis for him? Will he be forgiven?
How about for the generation that believed so strongly in his ideals, and later saw it break into pieces. Wouldn't they be then filled with deep regret? Or felt that they were cheated?
What is it like to realize that all the ideologies that you hold are untrue, and you see it crashing right before your eyes?

2) Movies!
Well I remember watching The Core, and Hilary Swank's character just made a decision that cost one person's life. She was mentally tortured, of course, but when Aaron Eckhart came storming at her, all she could do was to defend her decision. That decision that she made might be right or wrong, who knows. If she saved that person, the entire ship might be placed in peril. Who knows? Earlier in the movie her captain told her that to be a leader is to have experienced failure. Well I don't remember much about the conversations anymore, but I do remember them mentioning something about making decisions. Just MAKE a decision, that is the point.

All these ramblings. I don't even know if their factually accurate, just random musings from my mind.
Ah well. decisions!