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A majestic disappointment

I only watched this movie for two reasons. One, because it was Leo Tolstoy’s work hence the plot’s quality would already be guaranteed. Second, because Keira Knightly’s performance has never failed me, so I wouldn't mind watching another of her works.


I had no prior idea whatsoever about the story, but since its setting was at Russia, what with the seemingly perpetual snow and chill it made me think of it as possessing a depressing tone.


Yet the first few scenes proved me wrong. I was stunned by the quirky music, the exaggerated expressions of the characters and the dazzling change of scenes.


It had humor seeping through the screen, it had extravagance written all over the set. It was, in short, like a musical, an elaborately set up stage musical!


Eh? I didn't know Anna Karenina was a musical. Or did it being set as a stage production imply any underlying message? It was then that I Googled up this 2012 movie. Ah, so our dear Leo didn't write it as a musical- in fact, he hated musicals. This method of presenting the story on film was entirely of the director’s creation, who is, surprise surprise, Joe Wright! The same Joe Wright who made the incredibly successful Atonement and Pride and Prejudice!


That was shocking, since from the beginning of the film I felt that the vibe of the film seemed eerily familiar to that of Moulin Rouge. Yes, all its grand and luxurious presentations paired with over- the- top performances that seem to signal a sense of tragedy was a trademark of Baz Luhrmann, who loved big productions like this. Joe’s films on the other hand, always convey a sense of serenity to me, as if he were telling a touching and endearing story through nostalgic and misty lenses that makes you feel like lying back on the swaying green grass and listen to his wonderful tale. Anna Karenina was definitely not that! I got freaked out by the grand costumes, choreographed movements, exaggerated expressions and dizzy change of scenes.


It wasn't my cup of tea, at least not for a Joe Wright film.


Halfway through the film I felt bored. I felt that a writer like Leo would have infused deeper meanings into his writings, despite it being a novel but this film didn't seem to embody that. Either it was that I got too distracted by the actions on screen to notice, or that the director was too focused on looking for a unique way of presenting an age- old tale to pay attention to the underlying meaning. The story, if told plainly will seem like a typical melodramatic novella: women cheats on husband, gives birth to bastard child, husband still loves her but cannot find forgiveness hence asks for a divorce but when the wife seeks for him, still returns to her. Yet the women feels no remorse and continues with an erotic passion for the other man, gets ostracized by the society, becomes paranoid and finally commits suicide. On the other hand, a wealthy but down to earth landowner who stays in the countryside seeks for a young socialite’s hand in marriage but gets refused due to her desire to be rich, popular and elegant like those ladies. But after suffering a heartbreak, she accepts his hand and they both live happily ever after in the countryside.


Not to say that the director didn't do the story justice, of course. He did express the messages in the story well, but it was probably obscured by the grandiosity of the display, at least for me. It was a tale of love. In the beginning of the movie, the script was littered with talks about love and marriage. Marry for love? Forgiveness because of love? Should the wife forgive the philandering husband? The down to earth man who was rejected was seen as an idealist for his notions of pure love; the cheating women asked her sister- in- law to forgive her brother for his affairs for the reason of love- the love should be enough to generate forgiveness; the women’s steely husband wasn't exactly an affectionate person, but he loved her and would even consider forgiving her; the man she cheated with loved her dearly, and saw that it was alright to love a married woman, subsequently seducing her out of her righteousness. To the cheating woman, because of love, one can forgive, so she even expected her husband to forgive her. Love wasn’t something that you can control, according to her. It just is. To that down to earth man, the love that the woman had wasn’t pure love. Pure love wasn’t something you can get with reason, and it means to stay loyal to ones partner.


Another interesting insight that I derived was once again, the drudgery lives of the upper- class society. The elites, the socialites, the aristocrats. They were constantly subjected to the critical eyes of their peers, they had nothing better to do then to attend performances in the opera hall where they will serve to stare and be stared at others ( hence Joe’s initiative to set the story there). It is in the hall that one’s social status is obvious, and this served to push the woman to her breaking point as she had to endure glares and insults from the ladies there. That era was also one that gave women a lower status then men- women who cheat will not enjoy a social life anymore and are treated with more hostility then the men who cheat. This element of the society then led to the women becoming severely paranoid as she imagined the man flirting with other girls out there.


The woman who cheated is the protagonist- Anna, acted to perfection by Keira Knightly. Her husband is Alexei, embodied wonderfully as well by Jude Law ( looking old here!) whereas her dashing lover, also named Alexei ( hmm, what’s the reason I wonder) was presented by a relatively unknown actor- Aaron Taylor Johnson. The second Alexei’s performance was a little off the mark for me- his gaze doesn’t seem firm enough for me. I felt that he should carry the persona of a swashbuckling, handsome, dashing, confident and charismatic lover who sweeps Anna off her feet, hence his gaze should convey deep, passionate and erotic love instead of well, one that can be likened to an adorable puppie’s watery eyes. The down to earth wealthy man is called Konstantin, whereas his object of affection Kitty. Stiva is Anna’s brother, the philandering man, whereas his wife is the suffering Dolly who doesn’t excommunicate Anna after her affairs.


I would say that this movie was a disappointment to me, but only because I had overly high expectations. Otherwise, it would serve as quite and entertaining and beautiful ride that triumphs because of its originality and execution. It stands out in terms of the actors’ performance, method of presenting the story, the wonderful music by the ever talented Dario Marianelli and the aesthetic value.


Watch for those qualities but if you are looking for movies with deeper meanings, I think this would not be the best fit. Of course, this are just my personal opinions and I still feel that whatever I wrote is a mere shallow representation of the entire film. Maybe I need more time to munch and reflect upon it, and its true value might appear to me later on, like how it did with The Tree of Life. I hope it will.

Fear

Someone once told me that I was lucky, for having such a clear direction in life and for being courageous enough to pursue a non conventional dream.

Really?

I'm NOT sure at all about my future, I don't even know if it's going to work out, and more importantly, I don't think I have the talent to pull it off. No. The obstinate me just had to choose a path that she is not the best at. Interest triumphs talents for that obstinate girl, apparently. I see so many better qualified people then me out there, and I can see myself lost and stumped in their presence. Negative messages will begin to holler in my mind " I don't freaking know why am I here", " I suck", " let's give up".

But that obstinate self doesn't want to give up without trying. So I'll try, try to curb the negative monster, try to obtain self control and CURB that lethargic procrastinator in me. I'm terrified at the possibility that in the future I will regret this decision, terrified that I will be a failure, looked down and pitied at. AAAHHH.

That's no way to make decisions anyway. I shall not let that be a reality. Not saying that it won't, but I'll try not to let that happen.

Confidence, confidence.
Initiative, initiative.

Just freaking stop being lazy and start doing stuff!

Daily routines

The weather is not exceptionally good today. Down cast, angry plumes of clouds, humid. But for some reason the birds are actively chirping today. Singing in their incomprehensible tones, hopping from bushes to gates, gates to trees, trees to the road.

As I listen to artificially constructed music by overcommercialized figures playing from my human constructed, technologically advanced gadget, the birds chirp for my attention out there, beyond layers of metal gates surrounding my four walls of bricks. Their music sounds so inviting and refreshing, and I almost take a step towards unlocking the door but my artifically constructed music is approaching its catchy climax! I have to listen to that. What's more, it's 3pm and I have tons of studying to do. Tons. Look at all the pages I have left.

So I continue to be buried in books listening to well, music. While the birds are happily chirping away outside unhurt by my decision to not participate. One day, I tell myself. One day I will immerse myself in nature again, stop in my tracks, enjoy absolute peace and give nature my full attention. Deja vu! I think I've made this resolution so many times in the past but always when such a perfect opportunity rises up I have to study for exams or I'm in a hurry to somewhere.

I need a break, a break to do all the things I love, a break to pursue skills that I wish to obtain, a break to explore the world, clarify my direction and aims in life. Because frankly, everything is casted with a shade of doubt now and I don't know where I"m heading to.

Do I have enough discipline to give myself a break?

On making decisions

I always make it a point to carefully consider every aspect before making a decision. Alas, after long thought, normally the decisions made are still made on shaky grounds.

I HAVE NO IDEA IF IT IS THE RIGHT DECISION.

Let's say after a week or so when I"m showering, the decision will emerge in my mind as I once again ponder over it. Regret will begin to seep in as I wonder if I've made the right choice.

That piece of uncertainty has led me to hate making decisions, or to procrastinating at any potential situations that might require me to do so.

But some things can't be avoided wholly. So I just make a decision. Snap judgement when things go heavy. Trust my instincts. My experience. Let the issue work out itself.

Luckily I don't have much stake in anything big. Any error of mine will not cause a country to collapse or anything, but I do realize that our decisions are very much vulnerable to our personal beliefs. Which leads me to wonder...

What happens when you make a decision so wrong that it costs thousands of lives?
What happens when you realize that the perceptions that you hold on so strongly to fails to be true?

1) In the case of China...
Let's say you are Mao. You truly believe in your ideology, that the 4 pests must be eradicated, that sparrows are detrimental to the environment, that intellectuals will hinder development, that no one can be trusted, that it IS the only way to revive your country from it's deep pits of shame and embarrassment. So you make those decisions, despite it being downright gory and cruel. At first it seemed to work but then all came crashing down. I wonder did he ever have doubts when he was executing this grand plan of his, like halfway through, suddenly realizing how inhumane and authoritarian the regime is, that this great decisions of his may lead to failure. Did he doubt? I think I'm getting off track here. Hmm. But point is, was there any sudden moment when he realizes all the flaws of his plans and felt like reversing his decisions? If he were to discover and accept that, is there any catharsis for him? Will he be forgiven?
How about for the generation that believed so strongly in his ideals, and later saw it break into pieces. Wouldn't they be then filled with deep regret? Or felt that they were cheated?
What is it like to realize that all the ideologies that you hold are untrue, and you see it crashing right before your eyes?

2) Movies!
Well I remember watching The Core, and Hilary Swank's character just made a decision that cost one person's life. She was mentally tortured, of course, but when Aaron Eckhart came storming at her, all she could do was to defend her decision. That decision that she made might be right or wrong, who knows. If she saved that person, the entire ship might be placed in peril. Who knows? Earlier in the movie her captain told her that to be a leader is to have experienced failure. Well I don't remember much about the conversations anymore, but I do remember them mentioning something about making decisions. Just MAKE a decision, that is the point.

All these ramblings. I don't even know if their factually accurate, just random musings from my mind.
Ah well. decisions!

rant, rant, rant.

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