Here we go again

I constantly try to numb my feelings.

I think if I were to belong to a place, it'd be between the twin towers, stuck in the middle of nowhere, where no one notices. All attention will be on the two metal structures beside me.

Watching Interior Design tempts me to morph into some object too. Often times when I'm too bored in class, I imagine myself as the white washed walls, appearing and disappearing at will. On days when I just don't feel like socializing with anyone or facing any sort of reality, I close my eyes and dream about merging with the wall, two pairs of eyes staring out of it to listen to classes, then slink back home without anyone realizing it.

Sometimes I really suspect that something is terribly wrong with me. How can the same situation happen twice? But I just can't pinpoint where is the fault, nor has anyone else successfully done that.

Why is it so then?

I still feel like I'm nowhere.

Belonging nowhere, and just as I will disappear soon, my guts tell me that it would make no difference.

My dream of becoming a wall, might have just came true.

And i'm not liking it.