Far far away...

a child's mind, world is pure and simple
~although it seems to get more polluted nowadays
saw the REALLY talented guitarist 11 year old boy-Sungha jung's video
wow
he's so great...
then i start thinking
i dont really particularly ace anywhere, heh?
that day, during tuanke
i kept talking
and then someone asked me: walau, u r actually so noisy de ah
i started thinking AGAIN
well
sometimes i really think that there's a wall between me and my xuehui
i have no idea why but
i just dont feel really comfortable in it
as in,
afraid or something
i suddenly get very quiet
and suddenly get very noisy
i have no idea what's wrong
besides,
everyone is so talented and good at what they are doing
haiz
i dunno?
i dont think anyonewill know what i feel and think anyway
since that
i dont really show my feelings

Sharing~

chatted to my friend today
and well, she says that
she thinks she's got lots of problems and
is like, burdening us with it
and she feels like we're helping her but she isn't helping us
that makes me think about this~
my problems
what made her think that she isnt helping?
i don't know, but
it might be due to lack of sharing
come to think of it,
i dont think i really tell out my problems to anyone
they just kind of float around,
then disappear after some time,
resurface again
then i will try to solve it myself
i know now.
i dont share much, do i?
always going around, thinking ive got lots of problems
and kind of grumbling that no one knows how to solve them
when it is my own fault
that i dont share
i dont tell,
so no one knows
although my problems are weird
really weird
they all happen because of myself,
thinking,worrying,complaining
too much
or maybe im just selfish
hmm
maybe i should put my heart out?

hehehe

it's 4/4 today
no school
and guess what?
i go all..erm.....RELAXED
and don't even feel like studying!!!
AAHHH
i finally finish watching NOdame Cantabile live action
SO NICE!
the songs were...
so so touching and nice
made me fall in love with music
we have to read "liao zhai"
hate it!
ghost stories?
i hate it!

sailing in a boat

ok
i just saw other people's blogs
and...well
i really envy them, you know
so sociable, dare to speak out
haiz
everytime at class
i tell myself to speak to them
but then
it feels so awkward
it's always, them all sitting doing hw or sth
and i go running there kacau-ing them
haizz
HAIZZ
HAIZZZZZZZz
in teenage years
(i wonder does it happen to u guys?)
i like want to do a LOT of things
learn a LOT of things
yet dont have the time nor the patience to do it
iknow~!so greedy!
im currently interested in art, music(guitar, electone, piano, drums)
dance(break dance, ballroom dance)..
oh.
another thing
this blog
because i lack of friends
this is just for personal writing
lol

heart

i kinda often felt out of place in pref.
feeling very...useless and...talentless
it's like...there's nothing i can do to help
im too...too useless
like.....
like pref. is so cold
and no one cares...
no one cares for talentless people like me..
but then
after this camp
i kinda think it over again
well
i didnt give pref. my 100%
so..
naturally i will feel cold
i will feel kind of out of place
i didnt believe in myself well enough
that's why the things i do just arent that good
i didnt give my heart to pref.

i decided
to try my best at pref.
so touching..this camp...
i really cried..

OVER

"i got OVER you"
yay
exam is FINALLY over
woo~hoo
lolz
it's the hols again...
it's going to be a weird holiday as it is only for one week
lolz!
so so so short....
and there's three days gone for camp...
argh,,,
no days for total relaxation
as in
sitting in front of radiation-due things(tv, computer)
the whole day without worries!!
i seem to have gotten kiddish nowadays..

EXAM SUCKS

"suck" hassome how became my favourite word
-describes myself
-describes exams
lol
studying kemahiran hidup for exam tomoro
HATE IT!
it's so boring and....
urgh...
no meaning
and it's all in malay!
URGH
the only good thing is that
it's all in "ABCD"
lol