School life

I just HAVE to write something about it. It is so like me to leave it to the last minute to compose this post though.

This five years in Chong hwa has been a great experience for me, a journey of self discovery and learning.
As much as I criticise my school and teachers( unfortunately, all the time) I still appreciate them very much for broadening my knowledge(hmm... At least those lessons that I pay attention to) and providing opportunities for me to improve myself and see the world.

Form one was a fun and careless year. I didn't pay attention to half of my lessons and memorised my way to exams. I met new friends, made some( to be precise, one) enemies( for being too noisy=.=) but all in all, had a great year. I realised that I wasn't the very sociable type of people, I was a little shy in front of people that I think are way out of my league, don't really know how to communicate with guys and pretty much ignored teachers of whom I think are boring. Oh, and I learned how to be alone. :) other than that, I had a blast playing and talking all the time in class, to the extent of pouring water into someone's pencil box, sitting between rows and playing during class, and beaten with a cane on my backside. Hmm.

Form two was a low point in my five years. I used to put the blame on the inefficiency if my form teacher then but now I realised we were also much at fault. I was placed in a class of whom non of my besties last year were in, so I spent much of my time with two of my sort of new friends. Pretty much the whole year was spent fooling around with them. I yearned to know other people too, especially the boys but to no avail. I did get to know joy and gang and had a great time with them but for the majority of the class, we remained strangers that don't even say hi when we meet elsewhere. It was an awkward year for me, as I navigated around different gangs and tried to learn how to communicate. Life in society was depressing too, as I didn't really fit in with their crowd, except for xy, and had ultra low self confidence then. I couldn't do anything right, but others could. I failed my responsibilities. My superiors, who did not take much notice of me, did comment on my inability but I have to thank them tremendously for continuously believing in me and always giving me chances. Seriously.

Form three had a lot of embarrassing moments and happy memories. Unfortunately, the happy memories are often tinged with dissatisfaction or disappointment. I was still trying to figure out my personality and my role in a crowd, trying desperately to regain self confidence and do a good job. I tried really hard to get along with someone, someone I desperately wanted to know well, but in the end it could not work out. That left me in shreds actually, as it seems to imply that I am a loser social wise. I made a lot of good friends, had a wonderful time with them, but once again it was interrupted by my ever present worries of being left out or hated. I met someone, a senior in my society that taught me a lot and showed me a different way of surviving in the demanding and suffocating world of my society. He made me see things in a new light, so I thank him a lot a lot a lot :D xy was still my model though. Hehe.

I'm bored typing. Leave the last two years for another day. Yay.