Lukewarm

What to do when you start uncovering undesirable parts of people of whom you like? Not in the physical context, of course, but rather in their personality. Flaws, which are present in everybody and most of the time, can be tolerated or ignored. But as life is, I tend to idealize the people I like. Those seemingly unacceptable parts of their personality will then be even obvious, blinding my eyes from all their other redeeming values. Another obstacle that I try to overcome everyday. One, of the many. Many, many. That's how friends grow apart, I guess. But even though I'm realizing more and more pieces of his/her that I dislike, I still can't distance myself from him/ her. Instead, there seems to be an invisible force that holds our ties strong together, stronger then ever. No, I'm not the only tie. Maybe that's where the problem lies. Insecurity, dominance, uncontrollability. I miss my old friends. This new crowd is entertaining, fun and interesting to be with but I've grown so accustomed to our old habits that right now, whatever I'm experiencing loses its glamour when compared to the past. It's as if something is missing, that all our camaraderie is empty and pointless. I miss how we love to save money, save time, and instead spend all our time sitting in noisy food courts chatting our day away. Conversation, it's the best medicine to troubles. We didn't crap much, we didn't play a fool, we don't have to roam about pointlessly. Or watch movies just for the sake of it. Talking, or rather as I coin it, emo talking. My ever favorite pastime. So maybe I will find a group of friends like that again. Before I reach my limits and go mad.