Communication

Is an important but hard to get tool. Well, on that hard to get segment it most probably differs from people to people. I need to work on this particularly, as my future occupation would require of me to have a firm grasp on this skill.

So how do we start conversations? There are a few methods to do that. One, through the conventional, traditional way of starting by Hi, My name is XXX. What's yours? then proceeding to questions about age, location and sorts of boring details. Two, the rude way of intruding into someone else's conversation. Of course, it's best if the two person who were talking are your friends so you wouldn't be offending anybody( I hope). However, there are lots of instances where you wouldn't have a clue what everyone is talking about, so if you're in a good mood, play along, smile and try to get it. If not, just ignore everything and stare into space( quite a useful tool, this). Three, randomly mention something to noone in particular and see who replies you. If no one does, pretend you don't care and move away. Yes, it can be embarrassing but at least you tried. LOL.

I've had my fair share of awkward conversations where you try to get the topics flowing but fail miserably. Both ends will probably end up frustrated. Well, the point to emphasize is end it when you think it's not going anywhere. Save the awkward pauses and replies. Learn how to stop. ;D

Financial planning

I have a RM200 book voucher to spend, but I don't know where to use it on. What books are worth the splurge? It's not everyday that you get free money to spend on your favourite things. This is going to be a hard decision.

The money is actually meant for us to spend on buying our textbooks, but frankly, I find it sad to use it on them. It's not like I even need to bring any textbooks to school, they're more for self- studying. For the current semester, I only need two textbooks, of which one I already bought prior to getting the voucher. So that leaves me with one more textbook to go. Unfortunately, these all colored shiny pages 200+ pages of books are NOT cheap. The last time I heard, it costs approximately RM 90! That means I'll only be left with about RM100 to spend! That is NOT a big sum, seeing the price of all the books now.

Is it worth it to spend on textbooks that frankly, I may never touch again after this semester?

I need to buy Psychology.
oh. SAT workbooks?
I want BILL BRYSON! DEAR OH DEAR WHY ARE YOUR BOOKS PRICEY
Malcolm Gladwell seems like an interesting author.
John Grisham! Jodie Picoult made me interested in LAW. And the good wife, of course.
How about a book on reporting, writing? Learn how to write 101?
Garr. I'm going to try and tackle Charles Dickens.
Not to mention To kill a mockingbird.
Kazuo Ishigaro, you leave me with too many choices.

See?

I just NEED to type.

This is going to be an unorganized blog entry. Well, sorry, I feel crappy right now. The only thing that can calm me down during these instances is either to write or to watch a movie. Since that the second option is unavailable now, I'm left with the first one. There are two pending posts stuck in my mind now but they're still too young to be written down. Little cute sprigs of ideas that still require loads of time and energy to blossom. So I'm only left with writing whatever comes into my mind right now.

Which is, nothing important.

I need to widen my social circle. okay. whatever.

I need to watch a movie. Sorry, no can do.

I'm so lazy to drag my butt out of this house. ah. You've always been like this.

But I still want to go and meet all my old friends! How??

I really need some concrete thoughts to write about. I'm really hungry right now. But why isn't anyone mentioning the word eat? they're all busy doing something.

I'm still hungry.

I realize that i have a problem starting new sentences. They're either awkward, repetitive or not smooth, sounds terrible. What should I do?

I want to improve my english.

I'm still hungry.

MAN. I'm so annoying, naggy and needy.


ps. Still hungry.

deception

I don't have to be good in writing to be studying journalism, right?


bullshit, girl. But you CAN be good in it, if you want. You just have to work harder. Look at all those marvellous writings out there! In the newspapers, on the websites, and even more in your textbooks. All the materials for you are out there, as long as you take the initiative and grab it. Nothing comes in a night, so don't expect your english to suddenly rocket up to the skies. Don't forget that no pain, no gain. You don't have to be the top of everything, but the least you must do is to try your best. Never give up half way just because you think you can't do it. What's the point of doing anything then? No one is able to do well in something that they've never done before. Even for those exceptionally bright and talented people, if they don't keep up with their work, it'll all disappear into nothing too. So what if you'll have to take a longer time to achieve the level of others? Just do it, you know you want it. If not, you know you'll regret it somewhere along the line. To remove any possibilities of that, don't make rash, stupid, irrational decisions now! I will not back down because of my incompetence.

my self- motivating trash. But still, pretty useful :D

Randomly

I miss brainstorming, meeting, communicating and planning. Humans are weird, aren't they? I used to hate doing these seemingly menial jobs but now that I have nothing but studying to do, they become favourable. I suppose it may be because last time I had to do it as a job, with responsibilities burdening my shoulders with every decision I take. Furthermore, it was tough studying and doing these stuff at the same time with very limited time. You become exhausted both mentally and physically hence it wouldn't be illogical to detest being "busy". All I wanted at that time was to have a day of leisure, doing nothing at home without any worries or datelines to keep. Every other activity that wasn't compulsory to attend to would be pushed away, with the excuses that I was too busy. Those were the factors that formed my hermit -like mindset.

I hope that'll change, but not too much. The serene and calmness you can gain is priceless and brings wonders to your imagination,serving as a source of inspiration. But right now, I just hope that I can be a committee member of some sort of club( editorial editorial! LOL) so I can delve head first into it.

Too nice

Be nice, be patient and treat people kindly, zhai.

That's what I keep telling myself when I meet a Certain-Sort-Of-People. They're the all-nice, forever smiling, never angry and helpful people. This explanation seems kind of vague but I'm sure you get what I mean. Once you mention the name of this person to someone else, they will break into a smile and say :"AH! HIM/HER! wah, he/she's so nice lah!" and their image in your mind will always be someone grinning ear to ear with arms wide open saying " HELLO! No it's okay! I'm not angry!" then proceed to hug you( okay this may not be part of it). But you get the gist. Whenever I meet this people, they trigger an Evil-Nat in me to be vicious, impatient, and rude to them. It will almost seem as if I'm bullying them ( DUH) because I know they'll never get angry and will still help you anyway. I've met a fair portion of them in my life and have only succeeded in NOT switching on that treacherous system once. I once told him :" You're too nice, seriously. I feel guilty everytime i talk to you. Please don't be so forgiving! Be bad!" He just smiled and went " Got meh?". Dang. (it's not just me he's nice to, of course. It's EVERYONE)For the only nicy person who escaped my grasp, she was a cute and loving girl. Somehow I looked up to her too much to become that monster( NOW it seems as if I don't look up to the others. But I do! I do!) I think one of the reasons is because there were people doing that to her at that time and I could see it crystal clear how horrible it was, so no-thank-you.

wah. I'm BAD.

no lar. not so. I don't swear or beat them up.

right. justify yourself.

But really! It's not a big thing!

You think.

It's just some small flares of temper. No harm done.

are you talking to yourself?

:DD

Wahlao.

I always have tons of stuff to blog in my head. WHICH, disappear once my fingers hit the keyboard. WHAT IS THE PROBLEM? Is it that the keyboard( which is very comfortable to touch, btw) is a semi permeable membrane that allows thoughts to diffuse through? Why are you so selfish, keyboard? It's not as if you have anything worthwhile to do with my mindless thoughts. They're just random nothings, my useless babbling that I do with myself( sadly) everyday. What? You're saying that I'm lame talking to myself? WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH YOU! I can be however lame I want! Everybody gets to choose who they want to be, so I'm going to be LAME. How unique is that? It's not everyday that you get people opting to be something not glamorous or popular. Give me back my thoughts, keyboard. I'm a nice and reasonable person so I'm not going to dissect you or even harm you. You may think that you're doing me a favour, preventing me from embarrassing myself by exposing my raw self out in this blog but you are SO wrong. There's no other outlet for me to bare my emotions like this, except for typing here. Somehow blogging soothes my soul, calms my nerves and reduces my stress. Have pity on me, keyboard. I don't care how sad I look here. I may look like a sad old lonely soul who's selfish, overbearing and immature but that's part of me, deep inside those layers of sugar outfits. I can't be that smiling happy person all the time, yar? Give me back.




ps. i am talking to a non living thing. O. M. G