Ridiculous

To be still hung out over menial stuff like this. I shouldn't even be bothered by it, seeing as it has succeeded in tripping me every single year of my life in the past. Every, single, day. I thought I was free of it, I thought I was released from its vicious grasp but then, no. I had to slip again, into that intimidating pit of nothingness. Again. What should I do now? How shall I overcome it? Face the truth, yet it can get too painful to bear. Nevertheless, it will still surface and stare me right at my face. I haven't found that somebody yet. Found, then, separated. By distance, by time. Some things just can't be expressed like that, they clamp up in my throat. I need, some thing. What?