Solitude,

Melancholy. I can't be left at home for too long a period without any form of socialising. No, even facebook can't save me. Somehow solitary can become addictive, once you immerse in it your conscious becomes permanently intertwined with it. I can't pull myself out of this swamp, my feet are stuck in this knee deep mud.

Not that it's torturing or anything, instead its offering quite some comfort. Being secluded from humans, from anything that talks, requires you to talk, wants you to respond, expects your feedback is wonderful. For sometime. Until it overwhelms you, then you become lonely and desperate, slipping as you  climb back up the slippery slope.

Frequently you give up halfway, give a glance back to your old spot and realise it holds much more attraction. Either you let go and comfortably land with a thud back onto that soft beany bag, or, you continue with your efforts.

Hence the need for socialising. Someone has to save me before I sink too deep. Everytime. Otherwise the earth shall gradually start closing itself above me again. Then, truly, I will be left. Away from the world.