The next two years

Forgive me if my review of my last five years anre tinged with negativity and sadness. That's how i like to view things because it is through this that i will learn and change myself, in order to become a better person :0

F4 was a... year of distraction, improvement, desparation, realization, and decadence. i failed in all my exams, i neglected my responsibilities both in class, society and at home. I treated my friends badly, and had a tough time figuring things out. Academic success was not my priority, to sort out the mess i was in came first in my mind. It probably doesn't seem like a mess to others at all, but i was struggling all day. Over what exactly, i don't even know. The only thing i knew was that i was dissatisfied with everything, angry that i wasn't who i wanted to be. why didn't anything turn out as i want it to be? Friends? ah. i didn't make much this year, definitedly. THe ones i had? i neglected them and in some circumstances, bullied them. Sorry, my neighbour. You were so amiable and nice, always taking care of me but i was always rude and horrible to you, using your kindness. Sorry, my partner(sort of.)You were so incredible, such a great leader, that i always had the notion that you didn't need anyone's help, much less mine. I felt that i couldn't do anything for you, i couldn't even figure out my own problem. So when you fell, i wasn't there to help you. i'm so sorry. Horrible isn't it? I hope i will not make the same mistake again. Then again, nothing's bad all the way, is it? I had a lot of great memories this year, playing volleyball, going crazy, japanese friends, bon odori, boiling eggs in class, drinking tea, eating maggi... We may not be the closest of buddies, but i certainly enjoyed my time with you guys tremendously. OUr classroom was at a block cut off from others, isolated. To get there you had two routes, one through the smelly, dirty and narrow pathway of the hostel's kitchen, the other through the walkway beside the sports complex( it isn't a complex actually). I used to like to wander along that walkway before getting into class, alone. THe morning sky, always so gentle, soothes my frizzled nerves and worried mind. I loved walking alone, along the empty walkway, and just enjoying the fresh air, distant rumbles of students chatter, feel the breeze of cool air, listen to the birds chirping. SO that was 2010, one of the changing points in my life.

f5 was fun, nice. at the start of the year i thought to myself, this was going to be my year and i will work ever so hard to regain what i lost. I did it, and im glad i did it. The class i entered was not the best of all, but i met several close friends this year and they were the best people ever. Kind, loving, caring and simply wonderful. Thank you guys, for making my year, especially to you, ww :) It was a year faced with numerous hardships, but even though terrifying, im glad i got through it. really. The fruit of perseverance and diligence was tasted, and i got a clearer look in life. Doubt will always come, but i will deal with it.

Let's hope for an even better 2012!
Ganbatte!!!!! :D