When I woke up, i saw the world in a pale orange-reddish tinge, with no motion outside whatsover, not even a creep was heard. I could only feel myself get off the car, tug my huge bag along and walk up to the door. Maybe I had a sleepy-head, maybe the world just turned in a opposite direction. Everything's weird! Lifeless, sad, i can feel the air filled with despair and what? I can't find the word in english. 呆滞.
Today was just horrible. I felt tired all the time, i even fell asleep studying chemistry in the library in an awkward position for everyone to see. Fine. Then I didn't feel like talking at all the whole day. For one, i couldn't think of any topic to talk about with anyone. SUddenly I became a boring old nerdy girl who sits there eating quietly or reading when everyone on the table is brawling with laughter. I JUST CAN"T JOIN IN! OR TALK! That fatigue seems to just overwhelm me, shutting my mouth and mind tight. Well, as a realistic person, if i can't talk, why waste the time smiling, nodding and pretending you understand? I might as well study.
This is not the first time i contracted this "disease". It happened quite a lot of times last year too, where i could spend a whole day NOT talking at all and just ignoring some funny remarks, sleep between periods and carry about doing my work like a zombie. Quite satisfying, really. But that was in the past when i had close friends who didn't mind me doing that( i love you, soowen!! XD). WAH! suddenly thinking about that is blissful. Maybe i should do that tomorrow? Socialising can really be tiring especially for someone as hermit-like as me. Or not. I can't figure myself out sometimes. Occasionally i'm high- powered and noisy otherwise it's moody girl out don't mess with me attitude.
i need a PSYCHIATRIST!!! WAH!
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" I firmly believe that any man's finest hour is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle, exhasted."
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